The Nemesis

The pupil of her left eye is always dilated. A big black dot of hate. An opposite to the filmy vulture eye of the landlord Edgar Allan Poe wrote about in “A Tell Tale Heart” but just as creepy. And in that tale the landlord was amiable – it was his filmy eye alone that irked his killer.

While with my nemesis – everything about her irks me.

Her grating voice that heightens to a screech when she gets hysterical screaming things like -“I will make you suffer, I will get you kicked out of the armed forces” and “They cast me in a BIG movie when I was 8, but my parents wouldn’t let me do it.  THEY WOULDN’T LET ME!!!”

And who can forget this outburst – “YOU have to be your own PR person, YOU have to be a professional, YOU have to know how to talk to the lawyers, YOU can’t be like that other woman who walks around with HER BOOBS HANGING OUT!” (Umm – I beg to differ – boobs have always been a pretty good PR tool for me 😉

I also despise the way she struts around the building – but has a handicapped tag hanging from her rearview mirror.

Her old school typed memos that she shoves in people’s doors late at night when she’s issuing legal threats boil my blood as well.

Yep – who knew an 80 year old woman I wasn’t related to could drive me so insane!  But that’s the ‘joy’ of condo living – you’re bound to these terrors ’till the economy improves and you can escape the madness!

Since I last blogged – Constance and I had another throw down.  I knew I shouldn’t have returned her phone call and I probably should’ve hung up right away – but I couldn’t help myself.

Yep, my own worst enemy – I am.

She started complaining another board member (one who is a saint and goes above and beyond) not responding to her so I said – “well, maybe if you were nicer to people, they’d call you back.”

“I AM NICE!!!”  She screeched.

Things escalated from there and finally ended with her hissing Wicked Witch of the West style – “Enjoy your dog.”

She better watch it – threaten me all you want – but if Constance goes after my dog I’m gonna go all “Wizard of Oz Dorothy” on her.

The weekend after our confrontation she stood on the balcony eating a sandwich in her bra and old lady underwear (it was hot, the weather that is).  She must’ve heard me on the porch because she turned and stopped mid-bite to scowl at my friend who dared to look over at her.   His eyes still burn when he thinks about it.

Each new visit to our building from the paramedics + cops makes me fear that one day I could be the one wheeled out on the gurney (visit below was an “afternoon delivery” gone bad) because the bitter old bitch has pushed me too far.

‘Cause let’s face it – the pain in the ass ones like Constance, they live forever.  They seize energy from you, pushing your buttons so they can get a reaction – hoping they can transfer their misery to you.

But I’m not gonna suck this one up.  I’m gonna simultaneously push back and put up a force field.

I’m also gonna take the stairs 🙂