Archives for September 2012

Bagel mishap

Have you ever been pulled over for being on your cell phone, when you weren’t on your cell phone? No? I have. Here’s the crazy story. As a side note I would like to add, I realize this kind of thing happens to some people some of the time, but it happens to me ALL the time. As comical as it is now, when it’s happening the level of anger and frustration goes through the roof.
With that being said, here it is;
I had just finished teaching my 2 hour swim lesson and hadn’t eaten. I packed myself a bagel knowing I could eat it on the way to my dog walking gig at 12:30. I left my place of work and noticed a ton of traffic so, like any good driver I detoured. Let me go back for a second, I looked at my cell phone, checked messages and texts and then put it in my bag next to me on the console (middle of the seat).
Okay, I’m driving and eating my bagel (I am very talented) as I am driving I go through a green light and pass a policemen who was in his cruiser at a gas station just sitting, monitoring traffic or whatever. I go through the light eating my bagel thinking nothing, when I see his lights behind me. ??? Huh???
He pulls me over comes up to the window and says license and registration. I’m thinking, is my insurance expired? Do I have any outstanding tickets???? What!???
I ask VERY politely,”officer, what is the offense?”
He states, “ma’m do u have a pink cell phone?”
I said yes sort of… He said, you were talking on your cell phone. I said, “impossible” and I show him my bagel and adamantly say, ” I was eating a bagel!!” he said then how did I know your phone was pink??
He left me there, stunned. Wrote me a ticket and said I could fight it in court, I could also get the video. Yes, video of me EATING A BAGEL!!!!
Anyone want to hear the kicker? Here it is: I had a PBA card behind my license that I forgot to give him. For those of you who don’t know what a PBA card, its basically a “get out of jail free” card. It was given to me by my husbands uncles who were both cops in North Jersey. Idiot me, forgot!!!
But wait there is more! I go home and call the police station and find out about this so called “video.” The very nice woman tells me i need two letters and a check for $5.00 and I can obtain the video. Great! I type up the letters and decide to drop them off in person, that should be okay. When I get to the police station and find the nice lady on the phone, I ask her, “is it possible to get a ticket for just LOOKING at your phone?” Another side note, I have bluetooth in my car, also, when you look at the calls I made on that day, one was made at 10:35am and one was made at 12:25pm, I got the ticket at 12:00pm. IMPOSSIBLE that I was on my phone! Texts are the same, I only had ONE text message and it was AFTER he wrote me the ticket! ARGHGGHGHGHH!!!
SO. here we are. The nice lady says, “oh, let me ask Sgt. Frank” he had just walked in, some big, huge, beefy guy with arms the size of a tree trunk. Sgt. Frank comes out, I explain the whole situation to him, show him the phone log, tell him about my stupid PBA move, etc..and he says, “Let me go talk to idiot cop.” (He didn’t say that but that’s what i was thinking.)
Sgt. Frank (who is my new BFF) comes back and says, “look, print out your phone record, here is my card (with his cell phone #! Score!) call me the minute you walk in and I will have the judge dismiss it.”
What?! Really?! Like a weight was lifted, like the sun shines, like a piece of dark chocolate appeared out of no where, I finally sighed in relief. When something eats away at you, something so mundane and trite and insipid and all those big words that mean STUPID, and then gets rectified, you celebrate.
Which is why I am eating a ring ding right now.